Sad to say goodbye...

I hate to do this, but this will be my last post on this blogspot. I will be creating a new one.

To my readers and friends, I will give you the new URL through your emails.

Thank you for being with me through all this time.

Love at war...

"There is no love in peace". While I was reading Paulo Coelho's The Valkyries early this morning, I ran into this line. I thought for a moment and pondered on it. I can believe it easier if Paulo said "There is no peace in love" instead of this. The character in his book pondered on the words too and thought to herself exactly what I thought. She never found peace when she was in love. There was either deep sadness, intense joy or agony.

Love is very dynamic. It moves the world. A song goes, "Love moves in mysterious ways". We never know what will happen next when we are in the battlefield of love. We may lose, we may win. Victory belongs not to the one who wins a battle, but to the one who wins the war.

One-liner...

Sometimes... people can be so stubborn.

Can't Fight This Feeling....

I will never forget this song from the first time I heard her sing it. She started singing it like it was nothing. And then I saw the flicker in her eye, a flicker of recognition. And then she sang with more feelings. She kept singing, while listening to herself. A smile started to show. And her eyes grew brighter. She was so happy! I can't help but look at her, smile to myself, and be mesmerized just listening to her voice and looking at her face.

Can you believe one can be so happy just looking at how happy his loved one is? I can.


Can’t Fight This Feeling

I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I say there is no reason for my fear
'Cuz I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction, you make everything so clear

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I've started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars forever

'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I've started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door
Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore

(solo) My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
I've been runnin' round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that I'm following you girl
'Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I've started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars forever

'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I've started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door
Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore

run...

a little speck of light flickers in the dark. i can see it clearly though. but it's so small that i am afraid it will die down anytime. i have got to get to it fast. maybe fan it up. make it bright again. i've got to run.. towards that little ray of hope... run... and fast...

To Friendship and Forever...

I got this line from a friend's blog. It was such a coincidence that after waking up, I thought of writing something about friends today. So before I start, a toast.. "to friendship and forever"!!

I have a lot of friends. I have friends from my childhood, from the schools I attended, from work, and people I met and got close to in one way or another. My closest group of friends, I call them COPs. They are the people with whom I have shared most of my life. They are practically brothers and sisters to me already.

Then there are them with whom I became really close to after having a relationship (or a special bond). They are the ones with whom I share intimate secrets with. Just between us.

And there are many others still...

I've fallen in love a lot of times too. Idealists thinkthere is only one person in this world whom you will love with all your heart. I do not think so. I have fallen in love several times and I always give my whole heart when I do.

I have loved and failed several times, but my relationship with my friends has endured all tests of time. We have had misunderstandings, fights and all, but we always patched things up. No matter how many times I commit mistakes, or offend them, they are still there for me when I need them. Now that's friendship. I treasure my friends a lot.

I once made the mistake of detaching myself from my friends just to please my girl at the time. She was so jealous and demanding, she wanted all my time for her. So I did spend all my time with her for a few months, thinking she'll change her mind and begin to trust my friends too. She didn't. We broke up after because she had someone else. I was depressed. Guess who came running to my side when I needed the moral support... my friends! The same friends I disregarded for so long just to please this girl. Of course they told me they were quite disappointed when I did that, but the important thing is, they are beside me once again and are having fun just spending time with me, even while I was hurting.

And so I vowed to never do that again. I treasure my friends. It's hard to find friends like them. They are like a few needles in a 20 foot haystack. Relationships come and go, but friends won't.

Friends can only be friends if you let them be your friends. So don't discard them from your life. Instead, invite them to share every moment.

I raise my glass one more time... "to friends and forever".

Cheers!

P.S.
To my friends, you know who you are.. I love you!

The letter...

Soon you will read one of the most difficult letters I ever have to make. I will be constructing it when I have the time and the guts to write it. Right now, I have several excuses to postpone writing this letter. I know though that soon I will have to write it. It pains my heart to have to do this, but my mind dictates that I should. So I'll run away from the task for now as I do not have the courage yet to face it.

More to come...

An Ode to my Love

People say you have what other girls want
A face that is so beautiful and elegant
With a very gorgeous body to match
You really are a very prized catch

Your physical traits are overwhelming
It seems like you are a perfect being
Prettier than Aphrodite herself
I can't help but question myself

Am I dead, am I already in heaven?
What luck did I get that made this happen?
I see in front of me the face of an angel
Playfully smiling, as sweet as caramel

With eyes that twinkle in the dark
A smile that can light up a whole park
You are the epitome of beauty
And I adore you ultimately

Song of the broken heart...

Save Me

I've gotta stop my mind
Working overtime
It's driving me insane
It will not let me live
Always so negative
It's become my enemy

Save me

Why would I think such things
Crazy thoughts have quick wings
Gaining momentum fast
One minute I am fine
The next I've lost my mind
To a fake fantasy
And none of these thoughts are real
So why is it that I feel
So cut up and so bad
I need to take control
My mind is on a roll
And it isn't listening to me

Save me
thinking and thinking

Mirror mirror on the wall
Who's the dumbest of them all
Insecurities keep growing
Wasted energies are flowing
Anger, pain and sadness beckon
Panic sets in in a second
Be aware it's just your mind
And you can stop it anytime

Save me
thinking and thinking

Ok so here we go
If it works I'll let you know
One. two. three.

I say stop

Missing....

I am missing a lot of people.

I miss my family. They're in Canada right now and I'm here in the Philippines. I have a visa, but I am not going there. I cannot bring myself to go there. My heart is right here.

I miss Her. I miss everything that we do together. I miss all the times we shared together.

I miss the laughter and the tears.
I miss the fun and the fears.
I miss the hugs. I miss our talks.
I miss holding her hand when she walks.

She's my friend and my love, and I miss her a lot.

I miss my friend. He does not want to talk to me. He is a great guy. He's been through a lot, and he is going through a lot more, but he remains standing, and fighting. I have great respect for him. And I am sorry I caused one of the pains he's carrying right now. I just hope we could patch things up soon.

Sigh......

To the women out there...

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back whenyou hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of hisfriends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares aboutyou and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

Waiting....

I can't wait to see your smile. I can't wait to hear your voice. *Sigh*

Realization...

Time has come. Everybody's hurting. There's no way of running from it anymore. We must face life and all its complexities. Now is the time. Afraid, we might be, but we have to be brave. We are at war. And the battlefield is love. Several lives are being changed right at this instant by even the littlest decisions and actions we make. Peace talks abound. We hope they result to better relationships. The fact remains though, that we are at war. And though everybody's wounded, we fight on. For this is also a battle for our lives.

When the dust settles, peace will be restored. Relationships may not be the same as before, but we will all lick our wounds. Some of us might have to do it alone, and some others will be doing it in the comfort of their loved ones. But everybody will move on. Life must go on.

Can you see the smile on my face?

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I HAVE BEEN FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW!

LIFE IS GOOD! LIFE IS BEEEEEAUUUUTIFUL!! :p

I want to write...

but I can't think...
I feel the need to write...
but of what?

:p

Thinking of you...

It's only been a short time since we met
You won't believe what I'll say I bet
I developed this attraction to you
In every little thing that you say or do
There's something in the way you say a phrase
That can place a smile on my face
I don't know what I saw in you
What I do know is that I love you

Wounded Hearts

Martyrs we call them. They are the ones who continuously love no matter how battered their hearts become. Some say they are blinded by love. That can be true, but I say it's also a question of choice. And that decision is one of the best decisions one can ever make in his life.

Can we blame them? Maybe you have not loved the way they surrender to love yet. It looks like it is suffocating, but it is also liberating. For they can express the love they feel anytime, and everytime. I admire people like this.

The one you love or the one who loves you? This question has been posed to a lot of people. And they have different answers. Follow your heart or your mind? Emotion or reason? Most cases are accompanied by difficult circumstances. There's no real right choice though. To each his own. I made a choice. Ultimately, it's your decision.

Hope

Sucked into a hole of nothingness
I stumble in the dark
Where are you?
I need you
I crave for you
But this hunger cannot be satisfied
I want

I create a parallel reality in my mind
I spin a web of alternate realities
In fact, they are just fantasies
I am helpless
All I can do is go with the flow
I am dragged by the system
It is too powerful
I do not have enough strength
I am weary
Tired of fighting
I submit
I succumb to the power
To my surprise, it gives me strength
A ray of light in the cold, dark cave
A spring of hope in the desert
And I begin to believe again
I will live

How much do I love you?

"Oh, I love you more today than yesterday
But not as much as tomorrow
I love you more today than yesterday
But only half as much as tomorrow"

The song says it all. :p

High

Caffeine? Drugs? Carbonated drinks? What makes one "high"?

I get a lot of highs. They are mostly due to lack of sleep, maybe a little happy moment once in a while. But I admit, I easily get "high". What can I do? I am a happy person. People say I am weird. I think I am unique. My positive outlook in life makes me look at problems in a different way than most other people. I take it as a fact of life that problems come, sometimes little and sometimes big. But I believe it only depends on who is carrying it.

Some say I'm a masochist. They say I like getting into complicated situations. Maybe I do. But I don't see it that way. I just don't want to contain my thoughts and feelings when I'm happy. So it does not matter to me if situations are simple or complicated. I decide what I do with my life. I know the consequences of my decisions. Even if they come out different than I expect or hope, I know that there's nobody else to blame but myself. If I fall, I'll just pick myself up again. I might need the moral support of my family and friends, I know they will be there. For I am wealthy. I am very rich when it comes to friends.

Back to the highs of my life. What keeps me high right now is love. If you read the previous posts, you'll see how deep I have fallen. It keeps me... feeling. There are good and bad times. There are sad and happy moments. These times spice up life. So I treasure all of them. For I know that one day, I'll look back. And all of these memories will be happy memories, no matter how painful some of them may be at present.

Her eyes...

The most beautiful eyes on any man
I have seen them in this lovely woman
They twinkle so bright, and dance in the light
Like two brilliant stars in a charming night

To The One..

I have fallen, and so in love right now!!
Really, but I don't exactly know how
Everytime I look at her face
Nothing else, I can do, but praise
Everytime I hold her hand
Think I'm floating over the land
Once I see her flash a smile
Living life becomes worthwhile
Everytime I hear her sing
Damn! I think "she's so mesmerizing"
Or when she talks to me with those eyes
Man, I cannot tell her any lies
Everytime she comes near
Joy lights up my face, so clear
I love her, that I am sure
And I'll love her with all I can endure

Untitled

Come to me
Let me heal your wounds

Walk with me
Feels like a dozen swoons

Talk to me
I'll be your reality

Fly with me
Let's defy gravity

Dance with me
And show me your grace

Sing with me
And light up my face

Laugh with me
Let's take all the happiness

Love with me
Boundless and endless

Apologies...

I am sorry only for not writing everything that I want to write in here. I assure you though that I am happy. Very. Please do not think I am being selfish if I do not share my happiness by writing about it in here. I just want to cherish the moments by myself first. But I will write.

Maybe later.. :p

A Kiss...

Keep It Simple and Sweet
Keep It Safe and Sound
Keep It Short Sweetheart

Can you think of more meanings of KISS? :p Post them now!

For Moni...

Moni..

You are someone's moon

To him you're the one who lights up the dark times

You are always a welcome sight

Moni..

You're a caterpillar in your cocoon

Waiting for the time to shine, till the hour chimes

And you come out to the light

Moni..

"Not For Sale" by Tina Arena

Here we are.. face to face
Who would have ever believed
We could end up in this place
You and I we've come so far
And darlin' though
You're amazed
That I keep on loving you more everyday
But there's something I want you to know

Even if all my dreams should come true
Even if I should failI made you a promise
So don't you worry
This soul is not for sale
Not for sale

You're the one
When it rains
Who I can run to for cover
And comfort from my pain
And bloom like a rose in your sun
And we hold on
To what is real
Not willing to sacrifice this love that we feel
Cause we know where our joy comes from

Even if all my dreams should come true
Even if I should fail
I've made you a promise
So don't you worry
This soul is not for sale
Even if all my dreams should come true
Even if I should fail
I've made you a promise
So don't you worry
This soul is not for sale
This soul is not for sale
Not for sale
Baby it's not for sale

Isn't it great to be in love? You can just hold on to even the thinnest thread, even if you are already feeling miserable, but still find joy in what you're doing. It's even greater to be loved. Nothing beats the feeling that in anything you do, someone finds happiness. Even a simple "hi", a smile, a wink, a nod.. even these can make someone's day.

The greatest feeling is when you are loved back. This is just.. perfect. As they say, "no one is perfect until you fall in love with them".

Baby, this soul is not for sale. It's yours.